therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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