its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
