Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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