dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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