a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize