You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
