I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
