I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
