bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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