We're facebook friends in real life
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize