I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
