We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
