it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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