I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
