I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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