Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I forget how to act sober
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
