At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
