Sry I called you an 8
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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