Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize