i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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