You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
