She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
