i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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