so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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