I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize