So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
