3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
this hospital has no fireball
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
