So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wish you could order shots online.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
