I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
