ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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