For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
