hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
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You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
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I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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