o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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