are you so shy because you have an std?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
