she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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