No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
