If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
