after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
that may or may not have been my penis.
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