I just made out with a guy for $7.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
