If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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