Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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