3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
