oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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