It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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