my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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