I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
