I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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