please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
