those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she peed on how many people?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
