RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
