when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
