btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
