With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
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its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
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ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The air taste purple.
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