dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
