Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
false alarm, still single
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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