if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
