Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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