I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize