and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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