she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
