dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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