It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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