RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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