If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
zippers are such a cool invention
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
